CCotD: Phone call fun

I just don't even know where to BEGIN today, so I think I'll start with sharing two phone calls I had.

Phone Call 1, from Billy, who doesn't believe in global warming -

Billy: Now when this global warming bill comes to the House I want you to IGNORE IT! This is nothing more than a hoax based on "consensus." Now I don't even know what that means but I want something based on FACTS not "consensus!" This is GOD's Earth and he will make it whatever temperature he wants it to be by controlling the Sun!

Now, on a normal day, NOTHING could top that. But apparently this Wednesday was anything but normal. Moving on to Phone Call 2, between me and Linda, a bigot.

Linda: Are you all talking about this hate crimes bill in the House this week?

Me: I believe its in Committee right now ma'am.

Linda: Well I want you to let the Congressman know that I am opposed to this bill! You wanna talk about hate crimes, now what they did to that Miss California, that was a hate crime, you know what I mean?

Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I don't follow you.

Linda: They didn't let her win Miss USA just because she told them she didn't believe in gay marriage. They are in the majority now, we're the minority. If what they did to her isn't a hate crime, I don't know what is.

Me: Um, the hate crime bill only covers crimes of violence, but I will be sure to give the Congressman your message.

Yes, because being named runner-up in a beauty pageant is just like, nah, worse than, being beaten to death.